Poll: am I the only one that thinks people choose what they believe and want to hold them responsible for it?

So often I've found that when I complain about someone doing something that is motivated by their own belief system's morals (and or their own religion's morals), I have people telling me that it's their religion's fault, or it's their parents fault, or it's whatever thing they've been taught's fault.

 

I agree that these things have a profound impact on one's belief system and worldview, however, at what point do they get to own their beliefs?  There must be some point that a person can and must take responsibility for their beliefs and actions based on those beliefs.  I have yet to meet two people that have *exactly in every detail* the same set of beliefs.  This may be too hard to really have empirical evidence for, but I want to know what other people's experiences have been.  I generally think that if any two people can disagree about a moral or a belief, especially if that disagreement is within the context of a shared religion then people have the freedom to evaluate and choose their own beliefs.

If this is true, then it's the individual, not necessarily the entity that indoctrinated them, that must be held accountable for their own actions and their own beliefs.  Am I alone in this?

 

I'd go as far as to say that a lot of people may hold many beliefs to be self evident and proven true by various means and thus claim that one has no choice in believing in gravity or the sunrise, and I'd probably say that anyone can choose not to believe in even those things, but I'm mostly concerned with the easier moral and religious beliefs as stated above.

 

I say hold the individual not the system responsible.  Is this wrong or unfair of me?  If so, how do we do otherwise?

 

Personality Quirks/Flaws?

So there is a situation that has made me think about two of my personality quirks or possibly flaws depending on how you look at it.

One of them I understand very well and is tied into my desire to make plans, create expectations and have those expectations more or less met. Usually when I make such plans my expectations do get met, however I've noticed that if I've been invited or otherwise called to meet with friends to do a specific activity, say watch a movie, or play a game, or even discuss a particular topic, and that specific activity doesn't happen. . I get frustrated and annoyed. There are varying degrees depending on a few things but that is true. It's also tied in with a desire for people to do what they say they will do and usually I agree to do said activity. . because I actually want to do it.

So I understand that quirk, and ultimately I really do think people should do what they say they will do and I agree to do or not do something based on what I expect will happen . . so I make no apologies for that. It seems reasonable to me. The other one is possibly a little stranger and I'm not sure if it might be a kind of flaw passed on from my father or not. I'd like to think that if that is true, then I have it to a less bad degree.

The other one is a general desire to do things over *just* sitting and talking. I like to talk. . anyone can tell you that, and often I'm fine with sitting for a couple of hours and just talking. I like to catch up, I like to discuss philosophy and whatever. There is a point, probably the 2.5 to 3 hour mark that I start to get antsy. It does definitely depend on the subject of conversation and possibly who I'm talking with. . but unless I'm deeply engrossed in a particular topic I probably start to get bored with *just* talking after a certain point. Especially if we aren't talking about anything of substance or if the conversation turns to thinks like celebrities or. . world of warcraft. Actually I'm not sure if I specifically get antsy or just get bored with certain topics. . . In any case I often prefer to *do* something if we are not talking about something that is particularly engrossing.

And that's it. Am I terrible for getting antsy? Should I learn to be more flexible? Hmmm it seems less bad when I write it out than when I was thinking about it. . but I'm not sure if I'm making it sound better when typing or worse when thinking. I know I don't want to be like my dad who sometimes it seems *can't* just have a conversation and has trouble not reading while at the dinner table and gets annoyed if one takes more than 30 seconds to make a decision when playing a game. . . I don't want to be that impatient and that dependent on constantly *doing* something. . .

I also kinda think these quirks or flaws are not so bad unless put together and then the one compounds the other. Not watching the movie and instead chatting about things I don't care about just makes me want to bash my head in. Also obviously it isn't usually so extreme a situation and I often do participate in conversation and even enjoy it but when waiting to do something. . . the conversation enjoyment can sour after a certain point.

I'm adding a wave of what I wrote above with the thought that it might be easier to insert comments at certain points via a wave than just leave comments. Please go to the actual blog site to check out the wave below :

Faith, Religion, and Evidence

I know wave is going away eventually, but I figure there is no reason not to keep using it while we have it. If I get a notification that it's going away soon, I'll convert these waves to text on the blog.

anyway -- please check out the wave and comment here or there

2010-08-13

10 things I love about you (where you is life and stuff)

was reminded by a friend about doing these again: things I'm grateful for-

1. Got plenty of sleep last night.
2. played fun games last night.
3. Had great help to rearrange my living room.
4. my bike and car both work well.
5. I've got plenty of money to pay my bills.
6. feeling like romance isn't impossible
7. feeling more and more o.k. with doing things alone.
8. My parents are coming up to see Hair tomorrow.
9. My sister is caring and likes to remind me to do things that are good for me. :) (like go to bed)
10. I'm in the middle of quite a few wonderful stories. :)

important post in someone else's blog

Just in case you haven't seen this. . in the other places I've posted it yet. :)

the history of marriage

Inception

O.k. Kids, so I just saw the movie, and I want to talk about it. I'm starting with people I know who have seen it because I don't intend to hold back with spoilers. Fortunately you probably can't see the wave unless you are viewing the blog directly. So if you do so, there will probably be spoilers. If you have seen it, by all means view the blog directly and comment either in the wave or in comments. Please do so. . . I saw it by myself and am dying to get more people's takes on the movie.

Shocked by Target "betrayal?! " really?

Check out my latest wave post by going to the original blog. Please comment in the blog or in the wave.

http://gryphon77.blogspot.com/

p.s. if anyone can help me figure out how not to have my waves posts overlap when the blog is viewed all at once. . please let me know.==fixed by limiting the main page to one post at a time.

wave about a dream

Hey, I still want to discuss things in wave. . not sure if people want to discuss this so much, but feel free to leave a note in the comments or in the wave.

Nook vs. Kindle

So I think I might have been convinced to want an e-book reader.  I looked at a Nook yesterday and I have a kind of prejudice against the Kindle based on them apparently being able to delete your books and refund you money without your permission.  I was also originally thinking of  just reading books on my new phone that I won't have till Oct.  But I think I can now see some definite uses for an actual non back lit book reader. 

Any thoughts on what the best e-book reader is?  Anyone want to buy me one? :)

Bryan's Birthday Camping trip

So, I'll be inviting a lot of people and I wanted to use Wave to discuss and arrange the camping trip. And trying to be aware that not everyone will have it (though it is easy to get) I thought I'd let people see the wave even if they don't have it yet. If you want to give input about the trip and or let me know if you can go or not, please either respond in the wave, or in the comments on here or e-mail me directly. If you write somewhere not in the wave I'll probably add in the information manually to the wave when I see it.

so, the camping wave:

sign in/up for wave

bit of dream and ongoing "alone" experiment

So in the dream I had this morning my hair was falling out.  I *think* that's a classic sign of something.

Also the cutting down on constant connections to people seems to be going o.k. as far as I can judge.  It's just occurred to me that maybe blogging about what I've been doing will help me focus more on the things I do by myself and appreciate them more.

Last night was pretty nice.  I cancelled my changeling game again for the, I think, 2nd time ever.  Colleen wasn't feeling well and another person was going to be really late while a third was rushing at the usual late speed.  I still chatted with Caryn for a while on skype and finally tested the multi video skype thing with Caryn and my sister.  The rest of the night was spent by myself and well.  I read more Imajica and finally filed all of the crap sitting on the wooden filing cabinet.  In fact pretty much everything is now in the metal black cabinet.  The wooden one has a little storage that I may or may not need.  I put my t.v. up on Craigslist last night as well and already have a response.  I'm asking for $15 when originally I was thinking $25 just because I wasn't sure how the market on craigslist was and I saw another t.v. without a dvd player being sold for $8.  I probably should have scanned for more T.V.s but oh well.  I literally only use the t.v. to put my computer monitor on sometimes. 

I did enjoy relaxing on my own last night.  It's funny that the only time I'm ever really without constant connections to people is when I'm on vacation or visiting friends or camping.  So it felt like vacation a little bit.  Tonight I need to get my camping stuff ready, and maybe if the T.V. gets picked up I'll sell more things soon.  Maybe I'll take a walk or do something else just for me.  

Also I think people don't completely understand why I'm trying to make myself (at least for now) less connected to people.  That's o.k.  Some of their suggestions are still useful.  It probably wouldn't hurt if I made more time, more evenings at least, that were just for me and not connected to anyone else.  Also maybe I'll try and cut back on other regularly scheduled activities to make it more likely this thing happens :)  I also need to worry less about the expectations of others and their feelings in general. (not that I don't care at all. . just not to base my decisions on "what others think" as much).  It's one of those things that I hold as an ideal but do not ad hear to as much as I want. :)

Anyway, less sitting on IMs at work probably means more blogging. . but we'll see.

getting comfortable with being with myself alone

So I'm feeling like writing but also trying to avoid seeking attention and overmuch interaction with others. I'm trying to practice being alone and getting over my deep rooted and somewhat buried fears of being alone. I'm trying immersion therapy. .I'm finding ways to cut back (not cut out entirely) on the constant interaction and attention various IMs and FB etc. have given me. I am still getting txts, e-mail, and phone calls of course, and I'm not totally avoiding people, but I feel I'm making some (possibly temporary) significant changes in how much I reach out and try and see myself reflected in the people around me.

It's a process. . Step 1: cut back on the electronic accessibility. Step 2: practice specifically doing things, especially things I'd previously avoided doing alone, by myself. This includes going to the movies, maybe going to cafe's, or bars, or just walking/reading/etc. all alone in order to be by myself.

step 3: ??profit?? we'll see. Part of why I plan things obsessively is so that I can ensure I have people around. I will prove to myself that I don't need to always have people around. Planning also makes things happen the way I want it to. . so I'm not going to stop. . but :) I can be by myself and be happy. . really. or I will be able to :)

Comments are turned off so I can focus on writing this, explaining to whoever may read it, but not worry about interacting and communicating. Later I might start a blog Wave about it to discuss the experience.

see ya

dream

just had a dream that I was at my parents house, and so was mike and daniel and stephanie and her husband adam. In the first part of the dream I started crying because someone was pregnant and I was thinking of names for their child, and I was talking to someone about, maybe mike, and I was crying because I started thinking about gone or lost characters from Dr. who and wanting the kid to be named after them.

later adam and stephanie had gone out to buy something for someone as a present and they had had a fight. everyone went to the front porch to help them carry in their large box and find out what happed. Mostly adam didn't like the things that Stephanie thought were neat, and in particular, these two necklaces that looked neat, but probably were not real stones or anything.

blog it wave test (test 2)

did that work?

blog it test 1

first checking if this works.

tent and weekend

So I got a new 6 man coleman dome tent over the weekend. Early b-day present. Spent a lot less money than thought they were going to spend also. I think it will be good. Got it at Dicks's. :) also am getting a hammock but the one we were wanting wasn't available so had to get a raincheck.

Also Saw Susical. pretty good show--at the Muni outdoor theater in Springfield.

Working on the career that actually fits my passions

So, I'm looking for advice on refining my career ideas and for plotting out the path to get there.

Made a wave. Please join in on the discussion either in comments here or in the wave:

Neverwhere--on stage in chicago

anyone interested?

Help me find my Nature/Character/Archetype

Please read what I wrote in the wave below and either comment on this blog or join the discussion in the wave. I am working on an exercise of self discovery and this seems like a neat way to get input and help from other people.

Religion vs. science-as inspired by comments on FB

This is so people without wave can see the discussion

Climate/Seasons and the Solstices/Equinoxes

Here is another Wave discussion embedded in this blog about Climate/Seasons and how they relate to our Solstice and Equinox dates. Please join the wave discussion.

Illiegal Immigration--Wave Post

Please join me in the wave to discuss this. .this is still sort of an experiment to see if I can get this method of broadcasting wave discussions to work.

test3

test3

or, does this post to lj?

I'm not sure which way the syndication works. .

wave