So I'm feeling like writing but also trying to avoid seeking attention and overmuch interaction with others. I'm trying to practice being alone and getting over my deep rooted and somewhat buried fears of being alone. I'm trying immersion therapy. .I'm finding ways to cut back (not cut out entirely) on the constant interaction and attention various IMs and FB etc. have given me. I am still getting txts, e-mail, and phone calls of course, and I'm not totally avoiding people, but I feel I'm making some (possibly temporary) significant changes in how much I reach out and try and see myself reflected in the people around me.
It's a process. . Step 1: cut back on the electronic accessibility. Step 2: practice specifically doing things, especially things I'd previously avoided doing alone, by myself. This includes going to the movies, maybe going to cafe's, or bars, or just walking/reading/etc. all alone in order to be by myself.
step 3: ??profit?? we'll see. Part of why I plan things obsessively is so that I can ensure I have people around. I will prove to myself that I don't need to always have people around. Planning also makes things happen the way I want it to. . so I'm not going to stop. . but :) I can be by myself and be happy. . really. or I will be able to :)
Comments are turned off so I can focus on writing this, explaining to whoever may read it, but not worry about interacting and communicating. Later I might start a blog Wave about it to discuss the experience.
see ya
